Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Blog Tour with Violet Blue - The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Sex Toys

I was absolutely thrilled when I was approached by Cleis Press and asked if i'd like to be part of Violet Blue's blog tour. It also gave me the opportunity to review her latest book, The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Sex Toys.

Violet Blue is an award winning sex author and educator who tells it like it is and pulls no punches. Her frank and honest outlook on sex have made her highly respected by men and women alike. She has an unbelievable knowledge about the sex industry and all that goes with it.

If you're considering introducing sex toys into your relationship, then this is the book for you! Violet has covered absolutely everything from the basics to the downright extreme and everything inbetween in this book. Just check out these chapter titles .....

Chapter 1: Basic Models, and Care and Feeding of your Toys
Chapter 2: First-Time toys and gifts
Chapter 3: Come Together
Chapter 4: Kinky Toys for Two
Chapter 5: Strap-Ons and Bend Over Boyfriend
Chapter 6: Teledildonic Toys: Online Sex for Two
Chapter 7: Sex Machines
Chapter 8: Exotic Sex Toys
Chapter 9: Sex Furniture
Chapter 10: Shop Smart and Recommend Resources

The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Sex Toys by Violet Blue
Feeling adventurous? In this witty and well-informed guide, best selling author and chief sex education pundit Violet Blue explains how to choose and use sex toys to play and explore together - and have mind-blowing sex. Also featuring new content by the renowned Dr Charlie Glickman, The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Sex Toys helps couples redefine alone time. Violet offers tips on creative usage and ideas for introducing sex toys to a relationship for sex toy novices and practiced enthusiasts alike.

Here's a little excerpt taken from Chapter 2 for your pleasure .....

The Sex Toy Novice

Is your lover new to sex toys? Want to surprise him or her with a little something sexy for a special occasion? This is such a fun situation to find yourself in: A whole world of sex toys and choices awaits, and your lover gets to try out a toy for the very first time, sharing the experience with you. Nothing could be hotter, sexier, or more intimate.

Will your gift be a surprise? While slow seductions and planned fantasies are among life's exquisite pleasures, giving your sweetie something you know they're not expecting -but want- makes for an unforgettable tryst. Yet if its too unexpected, you might be met with shock, or worse. Make sure he or she has some idea that something hot's coming. Presenting someone with a sex toy when they're having a bad day, feel exhausted, or wish they'd showered before seeing you might make them feel awkward, or pressured. Plan ahead for a successful 'reveal', and make sure you've had some indication that they'd like to get frisky with you - and with the novelty of a sex toy.

If you don't talk with each other about sex or haven't even broached the topic, a sex toy might not be the right way to get the conversation started. In fact, if the idea of sex toys is totally new to your lover and you give them a bright pink buzzing bunny, it might startle them so much that it closes a door in your relationship for some time to come. Make sure you know they're even remotely interested in sexual play or experimentation beforehand, by chatting about it. You don't need to give away your surprise or plans for seduction, but do lightly check in with him or her about trying something new in bed, just the two of you - this way, you can fish around for anything that might be potentially "off the list" so that you don't end up being a "bad Santa".

If you want to surprise your honey with a sex toy present that takes you out of your sexual routines (or a rut), you're gonna have to be the one to start talking about it. This will be easy if you talk about sex and experimentation regularly in your relationship, though a bit daunting if you never talk about sex just do it. Tellng him or her that you want to try something new sexually can feel stressful - and if it's motivated by a secret fantasy, this is an understatement. In fact, even thinking about talking about sex is stressful sometimes! If you've never brought up the subject of sex with your partner, don't worry. If you have what you consider a routine style of sex, telling your partner that you want something to change is scary, and starting a conversation about your desires to sexually experiment can make you feel vulnerable. This is as true with familiar sexual fantasies that predate your relationship as it is with new fantasies you discover as time goes by. Opening yourself up and asking for something you want sexually takes courage - but it also gives you an opportunity to learn more about what your lover likes and dislikes.

If you're the one bringing it up, reverse the roles for a minute:

If you don't normally talk about sex in your relationship and then suddenly one of you wants to, it might be upsetting - at first. Your lover may wonder if you've been withholding sexual secrets all along. But it's very likely that your opening up to them will give your lover the opportunity to tell you what's on their mind about sex, too.

This book is absolutely fantastic for both beginners and the more experienced sex toy users among us, as it's full of very useful information. Violet has no quarms in naming and shaming shoddy companies as well as advising on the more reliable, high quality stores available. I have learned so much from reading this book and will use what I now know to help me with future sex toy reviews ...thanks Violet!!
If you're stuck in a rut or just want to learn a bit more, then this is definitely the book for you.

Violet's Bio:
Violet Blue (tinynibbles.com, @violetblue) is the best selling author of numerous sex instruction books, including The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus and The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio. She also writes about erotica, pornography, and sexual pleasure and health for magazines such as O: The Oprah Magazine, Newsweek, Cosmopolitan, Esquire, Glamour, Maxim, Marie Claire, Men's Health, Penthouse, Redbook and more. She lives in San Francisco.

Links worth checking out:

Violet's website: http://www.tinynibbles.com/
Purchase Link: http://www.cleispress.com/book_page.php?book_id=550
Cleis Press on Twitter: https://twitter.com/cleispress
Violet's Twitter: https://twitter.com/violetblue

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